


Unknown feeling

by just_j



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Reader-Insert, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 20:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16839838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_j/pseuds/just_j
Summary: After Shiratorizawa’s loss to Karasuno, Ushijima finds himself outside your window plagued by a unfamiliar feeling.





	Unknown feeling

**Author's Note:**

> In light of the Tumblr NSFW purge, I am here with one of my old works from Tumblr so in case that website goes to shit, I can still have a presence here!  
> I'm just posting this for now, so that people can subscribe to me, until I start getting new stuff out!
> 
> A/N from Tumblr:  
> soooo im just slightly in love with Ushijima. here’s some fluff for the exhibition of my ao3 account.

Every time he closed his eyes, images from the game floated through his head without permission. Even when Ushijima tried to think of something else; the images shoved their way to the forefront of his mind, demanding he acknowledge them before he got any rest. The sound of the ball hitting the floor on the wrong side of the court with a final resounding thud kept him tossing and turning, causing an overwhelmingly unfamiliar feeling to well up in his stomach. His eyes flew open at the memory of your expression on the bench—one he couldn’t bear to think he had caused.

He stared at his hand for a moment; the sting of the ball still fresh against his palm. It used to be a feeling he valued, even cherished; but now it was just an unwanted reminder that he wished would have faded with the setting sun. Frowning, he clenched a fistful of his blankets and tossed them off him; there was only one way he knew how to clear his head and have any hope of sleeping tonight. He changed into his Shiratorizawa track suit, laced up his shoes, and quietly left the dorms. His legs felt like lead and for a brief moment the sensation of stretching the tight muscles of his thighs and calves comforted him.

Nobody thought they would have gone five full sets, and he had pushed himself to his limit in that last game. Past the point where he normally passed the responsibility of Ace to Goshiki—even when his thighs felt like they would split, he hadn’t stopped jumping. Not when you had asked him with hopeful eyes to take you to Nationals again; poking the number on his chest playfully.

It wasn’t working. He tried focusing on the sound of his feet rhythmically hitting the pavement or his puffs of breath curling into the cool air—anything but the flashes of fiery hair, glasses, and that unknown feeling that was beginning to constrict his stomach. Ushijima ran faster, attempting to lose everything that haunted him in his wake; to no avail. Try as he might; the images kept up with him, tormenting him even at his faster pace. He was at a loss for what to do until he recognized his surroundings.

Your street.

He pulled out his phone to check the time. It wasn’t too late, and he knew you were a night owl; always texting him volleyball news when he was already long asleep. He liked waking up to them.

_Sent - 00:42_  
_Are you awake?_

Within seconds, he received a response.

_Received - 00:42  
Yes, why?_

His feet moved without him having to tell them to.

In mere minutes, he found himself standing beneath your window. He wasn’t even sure how to get your attention from here; maybe he should just turn back. But no, his subconscious had brought him here—and now that he was so close to you; he desperately wanted to see your face.

It was strange to Ushijima; being ruled by his emotions like this. Acting by pure impulse, he located a small pebble and tossed it against your window.

Nothing happened.

He threw another one.

Before he could find another rock, your window opened; revealing your beautiful face illuminated by the moon. You squinted down at him. “Wakatoshi? What are you doing here?” You were surprised to see him; by no means thinking that text he had sent you earlier meant he was _visiting_. But he didn’t look right—a strange expression adorning his face as he looked up at you. You assumed he wouldn’t be here unless something was wrong; especially since he was wearing his track suit, which meant he had been out for a run. He didn’t do that at this time of night unless something was keeping him awake. You could already guess what it was.

He realized he didn’t have an answer to your question. “I don’t know,” he said plainly.

You laughed—a sound that momentarily cleared his mind the way he had hoped his run would have. “Meet me at the front door.” You disappeared into your room and it took him a moment to register what you had said.

He’d visited plenty of times before, but certainly not in the middle of the night. The thought of the implications made his face flush with color and he was glad you weren’t there to witness it. That didn’t seem to matter though as he was already heading towards the entrance of the building; his anticipation to see you growing with every step. When he rounded the corner, you were already waiting for him. Standing in the doorway wearing sweatpants and a shirt he recognized as the one he gave you when you first became the team’s manager three years ago. He had no idea you still had it.

What he also didn’t know was that you wore it every time you felt like you needed him near. Even before you were dating, it let you dream that maybe one day he could be yours. Your first-year self would have never imagined he’d be standing at your front door looking at you the way he was now.

He stopped in front of you, realizing he didn’t have anything to say—couldn’t even come up with an explanation for himself, much less for you.

But you didn’t ask. You never did. You always seemed to already know, even if he didn’t, and he loved that about you.

You looked up at him with eyes that could see straight through him and quietly took his hand, pulling him to cross the threshold of the doorway. He trailed behind you down the familiar hallways to your room, you didn’t even stop once your door shut behind him and led him straight to your bedroom. He immediately missed the comfort of your fingers intertwined with his when you let go of his hand.

His mind still wasn’t at ease. That feeling that had been tormenting him all night was still there and he moved to sit at the edge of your bed, looking down at his hands again. Your eyebrows furrowed at the sight of him—hunched over and staring blankly at his palms. This wasn’t like him at all.

“…Toshi?” You said softly. The pure worry and care in your voice saying the nickname he so loved almost broke him.

“This…” he started, struggling to find words to describe how he felt. Another point of difficulty for him. You strode across the room to stand in front of him, waiting patiently for him to continue. You would never push him to tell you what he was thinking; wanting him to come to the decision to do so on his own. But he remained silent and you were left to figure out what was plaguing him on your own. You didn’t mind, it was part of the reason you two worked so well. You were good at deciphering how his body language translated into how he felt. 

Once you figured it out, you fought the urge to laugh. He was here because he was dealing with something you knew he’d never experienced before, and he couldn’t understand it. Instead, you took his head into your hands and placed a light kiss on his forehead. “Losing,” you murmured against his hair, “is a foreign experience; isn’t it?”

Ah. There was the explanation he was searching for.

His fists clenched—he had failed his team, you, and himself. All because he had let that little number ten ruffle his feathers. You noticed his mood change the second the words left your lips. As if he could finally feel the brunt of his emotions now that he knew what was causing them. You couldn’t stand to see him like this. Surprising him, you sat down in his lap straddling him, and forced him to look at you. His brown eyes met yours and you desperately wanted him to know how you felt. You wanted him to know he could never fail you—no matter what he did.

Cupping his cheeks, you kissed him softly; hoping he might understand what you were trying to say. He responded to you immediately, wrapping his arms around you and pressing you against his chest to deepen the kiss. After a moment, he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours. How could he possibly describe the resolve you had just sparked inside him with just that one kiss?

“I will win next time,” he whispered. A promise not only to you—but also himself.

A smile that could burn away any darkness he felt lit up your face. “I know.”

And the way you said it; with such honesty and confidence, was all he needed to hear.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr @ haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles


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